His love seeks to understand

Day 18...Love seeks understanding

Today's dare: Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you.  The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.  Focus this time on getting to know you spouse better, perhaps in areas you've rarely talked about.  Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate.

I normally don't quote the book but I like what it had to say about studying your spouse.

"Consider the follow perspective: if the amount you studied your spouse before marriage were equal to a high school diploma, then you should continue to learn about your mate until you gain a "college degree," a "master's degree," and ultimately a "doctorate degree."  Think of it as a lifelong journey that draws your heart ever closer to your mate."

 How well do you actually know your mate?  Do you know their greatest hopes and dreams? Do you know and understand how they prefer to give and receive love?  Do you know what your spouse's greatest fears are and why they struggle with them?

When you were courting you studied your partner, you learned what made them tick.  You were interested in what they liked, what they felt and what they needed, but as your relationship grew your interest in studying him or her started to be replaced by other interests and as we stop learning about each other we start to pick apart each other. We begin to not understand our partner the way we used to so we allow their annoying habits to get to us.

"Some of the problems you have in relating to your spouse are simply because you don't understand them.  They probably react very differently to certain situations that you do and you can't figure out why."

Relationships are all about differences, you wouldn't want to be involved with someone just like you so it becomes a problem when those differences start to get on the others nerves.  It's worth studying your partner and finding out why they are the way they are.  Find out what's behind those "annoying habits".    

The best way to rekindle intimacy is to listen.  If you need some help with that re-read this post.  Focus on each other for a while.  Listen, don't judge. Give each other space to connect on a deeper level.  Remember it all comes down to a choice.