His words

I've seen the sign but I still don't know what it means...more then one time this weekend I encountered something that had to do with my theme song, unfortunately it still hasn't been revealed to me what it means and boy is that frustrating.

We all know that patience is a virtue but it's not one I have a good handle on, so all this waiting is killing me.  I'm not laying awake wondering or anything but each time the sign is repeated I become more and more interested in what it means.  Hearing it one time is one thing, but repeatedly is an entirely different ballgame.  Seriously it was everywhere...on Facebook, on the radio, at church.  Then today my "Message from God" said..."that the answers are within you. You're chasing in the wrong field. What you are looking for is inside of you, not 'out there'. Take a few days off to become quiet and look within, and you will find it."  Funny that this weekend is the Banquet and I will be taking 72 hours to unplug and look inward.  His Spirit is up to something in my life....but what is it?

What am I looking for?  What am I believing for? What am I doing that might be wrong or not on the path that He wants me on?  Am I going to have to wait the entire rest of the week to find out?  If so I am definitely going to need 72 hours to unplug and unwind from all of the constant wondering about what the signs mean.

It really is thought provoking though, wondering about my life and His plan for it.  My life has been full of ups and downs.  I pray that I am on the upward side right now, but these signs have me wondering if I am where I am supposed to be.  The biggest question on my mind is how and when it will all be reveled. 

Skip ahead a few hours since I wrote the beginning of this post...now after having time to reflect on my Bible Study lesson for the week.  There are several quotes to be mentioned, but this is the first one I came across when reading:

Hudson Taylor said, "We will all have trials.  The questions is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie.  Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will it press us ever closer to His breast?"

The next quote says this:

"As I look back at my life, I could see a series of mountaintop experiences where the rain had fallen rich and deep, but there were quite a few dry valleys as well.  Famine times when I was so dry and so low emotionally that I barely felt alive.  I had the classic sanguine personality when it came to my walk with God.  Big, big, highs.  Big, big, lows.  And now, more recently, I felt lost in a barren, featureless desert."

 The line about the desert really struck me, but the next part really stuck with me:

"Tear down the mountaintops if you have to, Lord. I cried one night.  But fill in the valleys! Bring a steadfastness to my life so I can walk faithfully in the good times as well as the bad.  I want to know you!! I want to be filled with you - and stay filled."

As I reflected on those few lines I started to wonder if I had put Him in a box, giving Him human qualities.  Qualities that others around me had that weren't so great.  I think we all do that, a little.  We inflict human qualities on Him, qualities He doesn't deserve.

People abandon, He doesn't.  People love conditionally, He doesn't.  People let us down, He doesn't.  People lose sight of hope, He doesn't.  People can't preform miracles, but He can.  People can't change hearts, but He can.  Had I forgotten that He was bigger then I was? Had I forgotten that He is able to do all things?  When my faith wavers do the qualities that I reflect on Him change as well?

Is that what I am to be reflecting on this weekend? Or is it the power in me to change my circumstances that I am to be reflecting on?  I'm talking about the power of His Spirit within me, the power that He bestows on us.  The power that we use to conquer our fears, the power that we must use when we think we are at our lowest.  The power within us to help change our own being and hopefully the world.

Whatever it is, I hope that I find out what it is sooner then later.  I have heard Him speak loudly, but now since He is carrying me, He is only speaking in that still small voice and I must get away from the distractions to be able to hear what it is He is saying.  I pray that I can turn off all the noise inside of my head this weekend so I can hear what He has to say to me.