We sang my theme song today in Church..."Trust and Obey". I know that you read my post Where is He? and you will remember that I first heard this song at the beginning of one of the hardest weeks of my life. I was falling apart, all I could do was trust that He would see me through and in the end He would prevail. So when I heard that we were singing it this weekend I started to reflect on what the song meant to me.
The tag of the song says, "Lord I love you, please help me to trust and obey." Trust is hard, especially as you get older. As you age you realized that you can't just trust anyone and sometimes you can't even trust those that you love. I had a friend tell me today that she is not even sure that she trusts herself about some things and if you can't trust your own feelings, how can you trust in someone you can't see? Trust is all about faith and faith is taking that step off the cliff and knowing that He will give you wings and boy is that step a doozie!
As you remember from my previous post, when I thought all was lost, He had already moved on my behalf and really looking back I realize now that this song played soon after He had moved. It was my sign of reassurance, sadly I missed it until now but there it was. I had spent many nights on my knees praying and here He was reminding me that He was on my side, working behind the scenes. That was the beginning of a week of total trust and amazement. Funny how that week ended with this song as well, it was another reminder that He is always there, whether or not we feel like He is.
As I think about that week and this song, tears stream from my eyes. Love, especially to a woman, is very powerful and as I reflect I feel the warmth of His love around me. I grew up believing in Him but never needing Him and though my faith has grown over the years my faith grew exponentially that week and continues to grow even now.
You never know how much you need something until you think it's gone and I was sure that He had left me that Sunday. Left me to face my sin by myself. Left me to walk in the darkness alone and as I felt the darkness engulf me He reached down and offered me His hand. I was in the darkness long enough to leap for joy when I saw the light and I keep looking towards that light for guidance.
The last line of the last verse is, "Never fear, trust and obey." When you do take that step of faith and put total trust in Him it scares you to death. But what I know is that He will give you wings, you might get a few bumps and bruises on the way down but those will be your reminders when things are going well. You can look at those bruises and remember where you came from and know that you are headed in the right direction. You don't have to be afraid, you don't have to be alone, He is always with you.
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