His spirit

Though I grew up in a Christian household, I never really prayed until 7 years ago.  Sure we said a blessing at meals, and of course when I wanted something I would say a selfish prayer of want, but 7 years ago I realized that I could pray without sounding self-centered and  those prayers were more effective.

Now let me say that praying for yourself isn't wrong, but the way I was praying was. My prayers were always, if You give me this I will do this.  I was bargaining with Him and though sometimes it worked I never followed through with my end of the bargain and I ended up feeling guilty.  So when I joined a church centered on prayer, I really learned the importance of prayer in my life.

My spiritual mentor at that church, was the epitome of the verse that says to pray about everything.  I remember going to the grocery store with her one day and as we pulled into the parking lot, she started praying for a good parking spot.  I thought it was strange, but her prayer was answered almost immediately and we pulled into the first spot next to the door.

The church I grew up in had elaborate prayers for things and I was always scared to pray because I didn't know the right words to say, but she taught me that there is no magic recipe for prayer it was simply laying your concerns in front of Him.

I joined the prayer team at my new church and at 7am every Sunday morning and pray for the upcoming services, the Pastors, the music team, the visitors, etc.  I found it freeing to send petitions to Him on other peoples behalf.  I found the more I prayed the easier the words came and I remember one Sunday specifically when my entire prayer life changed.

I was praying and another person in the room, asked for the Holy Spirit to fill the room and our souls and I felt a warm presence fill my body.  Goosebumps rose on my arms and legs and I began speaking words that were not my own.

I had heard about the Holy Spirit growing up, but it seemed to be for the most holy of people and not accessible for the lowly like myself.  Then when I was 13 I was confirmed and during the ceremony that was our chance to have the Spirit indwell in us but nothing happened to me, nothing changed in me, so I thought I had lost my chance.

After receiving the Spirit I started stepping out on faith and joined another team that prayed for people that came forward for prayer during service.  People came that needed us to cry out to Him for healing and comfort and strength to walk through their circumstances.  I often cried with these people as my heart broke for them and their circumstances.  I also often felt helpless because I didn't know what to pray for, especially when the people that came for prayer were mighty Christan men and women.  People who's faith was unshakable, people whom I had never seen doubt His mercy or grace, stood in front of me questioning His faithfulness.  But I opened my mouth and the words came.  Many times I listened to myself repeat the same word over and over again, not knowing exactly why but knowing that the word was significant.

I witnessed miracles during prayer, during one Sunday I came for prayer about a physical issue and I was blessed with the miracle of healing.  Prayer is powerful, the Spirit is powerful.  Ask and you shall receive, He listens.

I wish I could say that my prayer life has always been on fire like it was during those few years I was at that church, but it wasn't.  Like all of us I had moments that I thought I could do it all on my own or I would question who He was and I forgot about prayer but gently He lead me back.  Now when things things get tough I lean on my prayers. I put my focus on Him instead of my situation and when I do that I realize that He is in control and that He loves me and He will take care of me and my needs.

Who do you turn to when life gets tough?  What about when times are good?  Are you like me and forget who is in charge of your life?  Where do you go when you feel unlovable or unloved?  Where is your focus in your life? When you feel like your life is spinning out of control, do you look up or down?  I pray that your focus is on things above and on the One that loves you unconditionally.