Wednesday, January 5, 2011

His opportuinities

Our Pastor spoke about opportunities on Sunday and one thing that he said has stuck with me since.  I knew what he said was true before he said it, but I guess hearing it from someone else made it ring even more true.  During the sermon he said that His opportunities never come wrapped up with a pretty bow, he said that opportunities rarely ever come with an instruction manual as well.  I have learned many things in the past year and certainly have learned that opportunities come from out of the ordinary places as well. 

Since I have been speaking about relationships in my past couple posts, I wanted to continue to speak to those struggling in their relationships as it applies to opportunities. Relationships have many opportunities in them and thinking of those opportunities as His opportunities changes the way you think about your mate. 

I was personally struck by the sermon because I was mad at my husband that morning.  I had said something that any woman would understand and because he isn't a woman, he didn't understand and he made a crack at me about it.  I can say all this calmly now because I am looking back on it, but at the time I was very upset. I forgot what I had said in my last post about looking on my husband with the eyes of Him and fell right into Satan's hands and started doubting and sinking into disappointment. 

I knew what I had said made sense, I even asked some of my friends, they knew what I was talking about, why didn't he?  Why would he come down on me for something that he didn't understand.  Why wouldn't he simply ask me to explain myself if he didn't get it when I said it?  Then more questions came..Why doesn't he see things my way more often?  Why am I always the bad guy?  Why can't he admit that he is wrong more often?  Ah, disappointment how you creep into situations so unexpectedly. 

So though I didn't want to, I went onto church and gave my husband the cold shoulder.  I was even selfish and prayed that he went and sat somewhere else during the sermon, like he sometimes does.  But because He knows better, he sat down right next to me but even then I tried to sit as far as I could away from him even though there was someone sitting on the other side of me.  I was pouting and wanted to stay that way.  I thought I deserved to be that way, because I was sure that I was in the right about this.

Then the sermon started and I felt this tap on my shoulder and He spoke to me.  I heard, "this is your opportunity to love him even when you feel he is unlovable, let him know that you love him still."  So still pouting I moved a little closer, still not touching him but closer.  Again I heard the voice, "you can do better then that."  So this time I moved closer and actually touched him, but I was still pouting.  The voice came louder this time, "this is your opportunity, love him the way you would want to be loved." That did and still does bring a tear to my eye.  I had been praying for him to love me the way I needed to be loved but in that instant I wasn't loving him the way I would want him to love me, so I reached out and laid my hand on his leg and the bitterness melted away. 

The golden rule is for more then just strangers or people that we hardly know, I believe that it is especially important in marriages.  We forget that our mates are people too and we need to treat them the way we would want to be treated.  But I think what we forget more often is that we should love our mates because we have been commanded to by Him and the verses that say when we do unto those that are the least, we are doing unto Him, speaks to why it is important to remember that we are not treating our spouses well to gain their love or acceptance but we are doing those things because it is important to Him and we are follow His commands. 

The hard part comes when our mates don't respond in the ways that we think they should, or they forget about the golden rule as well.  I heard the best way to think of the end prize this way, "when you look at your spouse, look past them and see Him standing there."  If you look past your mates issues and see Him then you will have your eyes on the prize.  Remember your spouse is still human with free will, you can't control them but you can control yourself.  Choose to keep your eyes on the prize.  Love them the way He would want you too.  Keep your focus on Him and He will bring you what you need and desire.  Opportunities to love your spouse are all around, keep your eyes open and you will be amazed at what you will see.

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