Follow Him, He'll show you how

Trust...it's something that I have a problem with.  Not the concept but the action.  It effects all parts of my life, my relationships especially.  I really feel for the people that am in relationship with because I always keep them at arms length.  Even the people that I do let in, I still have my eye on them.  I'm always waiting for them to hurt me in someway and unfortunately even something small can send me spinning.  I'm really great at sabotaging my own relationships, especially my relationship with Him.

I know that might not make sense, but I think we all do that with our Heavenly Father.  We can "Trust and Obey" while things are going good and as soon as something goes south we run and hide.  Of course its not always that extreme, but we all have our moments.  We are only human, right?  We're not perfect.

My lack of trust always leads me to asking for signs. 

"I'll believe that everything will be ok if you send me a sign.  Make it a big one, so I don't miss it.  Maybe have someone else notice it as well, that way I'll know for sure. Yeah, that will be great...thanks."  

Sometimes my signs are big and not easily missed.  Other times if I'm not paying close attention I miss my sign and don't realize until later that I got it, but He is always faithful and He always responds to my pleas. 

Luke 9:23-24 keeps coming up in my converstations this week, it says: 

Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it.

The Message says it this way:

^23-27Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I'm leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn't, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God." 

This verse stands out in this scripture:

"Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self."

I read it this way...The only way to overcome your past is through self-sacrifice. Deny those urges to respond to your future the way you have responded in your past and the only way to deny those urges is to look to Him for guidance.  We can't do it ourselves.  We can't go it alone.  We need help and help is always available, all we have to do is ask.  

We are only human.  He uses our past as a stepping stone to our future.  Don't allow your past to interfere with your present.  Allow Him to change you "from the inside out"