In a nut shell here's the story...The father brings his son to see the Son because he is possessed by a spirit. The Son isn't there when he gets there so the Disciples give it a go and they end up in a fight with some religious leaders. Upon hearing the commotion, the Son asks what was happening and the father says that his son needs a healing but the Disciples couldn't do it. The father then says "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."
And that's the point in the story where we can all relate. The father says, "IF you can do anything." He's brought the child all the way to see Him, but his unbelief makes him say "if". This story is in stark contrast to the woman with the bleeding disorder (Luke 8:43-48), who's faith is so strong that she believes that just touching the hem of His cloak will heal her. We all have days of strong and weak faith, but I think most of us when faced with a mountain we often say, "if" when asking for it to be moved.
I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2006. I remember getting the call from the nurse and I could tell that the nurse was crying as she read me the pathology report. She said luckily we had caught it in the early stages but I would need to come in immediately for a biopsy. So a few days later I went in to see my Doctor and with my mother at my side my doctor told me that the only way to get cervical cancer was to be sleeping around with several partners. The knowledge that I wasn't sleeping around and knowing that the virus HPV causes cervical cancer kept me from kicking him in the head as he was examining me and at the end of the visit he recommended surgery in the coming weeks to remove cancer. After the surgery the pathology report came back with news that we didn't want to hear. The cancer was starting to spread and I would have to see a specialist. Without being told I knew what more surgery would mean for my future, so I went to Him for help.
I remember that Sunday vividly. I remember where I was standing in the church and who was praying for me. I remember crying out to Him for healing but I remember sitting down after the prayer and wondering if I had been healed. Its not that I didn't believe He couldn't do it, it was that I wasn't sure if I was worthy or important enough to receive the miracle.
I was a very young Christian at that point, less then a year into my journey. Not that I am any better now, but I was still really struggling with my belief in His power. I was part of the prayer team and often prayed for others healing and never thought for a moment that they weren't healed but when it was my turn to step out in faith, I had my doubts.
"I mean, I'm not anyone special." "I'd been away from Him for so long certainly He had forgotten about me." "My cancer was payback for my past sins." "I wasn't tithing so because I wasn't being faithful, He wouldn't even look in my direction." Those were all the things I was thinking while I waited for the results of my second biopsy. I couldn't convince myself that I was important or good enough to have received such a gift.
Finally the day came when I was to hear the results. I was totally prepared. I had almost convinced myself that another surgery wouldn't completely end any chance of an intimate relationship with my spouse. I had processed all the possibilities of chemo or radiation and their side effects. As I sat in the waiting room full of cancer patients I tried not to break down in tears as I noticed their frail bodies and thinning hair. I sat in that waiting room for what seemed like hours. I was alone and scared never realizing that I could go to Him even in this moment, but finally I was called back and a few minutes later the Doctor came in.
I don't remember much about what the Doctor said except that I was totally cancer free. After I heard that I tuned him out and stared out the window at the beautiful prayer garden that was below me. As I stared I breathed a sign of relief and realized that I was important enough to Him for the gift of a miracle. The scripture that came to mind at that moment was Matthew 6:26.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"The end of Luke 8:43-48 goes something like this... the Son rebukes the father and says "Everything is possible for those that believe." The father cries out and says, "I do believe, help me with my disbelief!" The Son calls the spirit by name and the spirit left the child.
So the moral of the story is: Even in our disbelief. Even when we feel unworthy, we are still worthy of wholeness.
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