In His hands, Part I

In a past post I said this,

Most people would be asking, "Why does this always happen to me?"  I've quit asking that question, mostly because I don't like the answer I receive but also because I have come to believe that things happen for a reason.  I believe that because I can't believe that He who loves me so wants me to check out from this world and go on to be with Him before He is done with me here on the earth.  He put me here for a reason and I must fulfill that purpose.  That has been my mantra since my last birthday, it reminds me that He made me and that He has great plans for me and though I have tried, I am certainly not in a place to question His omnipotence.

I wanted to tell you about the answer that I keep receiving when asking the question, "Why does this always happen to me?"  But to answer the question let me speak to the beginning of my journey that started on Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at 9am. 

I remember being very calm that day, my adolescent training had kicked in the moment I received the call, but I immediately jumped into action.  I made phone calls, I cared for people that I love as they slipped into shock.  I did what moms do best and that's take care of everyone but themselves. I didn't think about work, I left without telling them what was happening.  I did what needed to be done, I came to the aid of my family.

That day would start me down a path that I would have never thought I would walk down.

Funny thing happens to mom's when they put others needs in front of theirs, they eventually fall apart and about two days later I did just that.  I couldn't work, I couldn't eat, I couldn't function.  My world had come crashing down on me and I was helpless to do anything to fix it.

I was at the breaking point, many thoughts kept passing through my mind, I felt every emotion.  But there was hope on the horizon.

An unexpected letter arrived in the mail a week later, that is a Monday and a letter I will never forget.  This letter was a directly from Him.  The letter said that a spot had opened up in a retreat that I had been wanting to attend and that my presence was requested at the end of the week.  There at the retreat was the chance to collect myself and take care of that piece of me that was hurting so badly, it was a simple gift but there were more obstacles to over come before I could get there.